


1501

by decaf and sleep (kohiii)



Category: Vampire Knight (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Developing Relationship, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-13
Updated: 2020-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:47:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23126506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kohiii/pseuds/decaf%20and%20sleep
Summary: Zero had always known that the subject of his death was constantly hanging over his head, whether he would perish in his line of duty or fall mad to the destabilizing thirst that rampaged through him. And if he was lucky enough to survive all that, then he would expire as any other mortal being eventually would.
Relationships: Kiryuu Zero & Kuran Kaname, Kiryuu Zero/Kuran Kaname
Comments: 11
Kudos: 128





	1501

**Author's Note:**

> based on the short film [1500 words](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-waMtGtxAdg), directed by andrew chaplin

"You have 1500 words left to live."

It was a ridiculous statement, but something about the severity in the doctor's voice gave him pause. This certainly wasn't the strangest diagnostic he had heard, but it seemed quite fantastical all the same. At least the doctor hadn't told him that flowers were blossoming inside his body or something equally sinister due to something as mundane as an unrequited heart. 

(Though to be frank, dying because he had used up all of his words sounded like an equally silly death.) 

Instead, he folded his arms and said nothing as the doctor handed him a sheaf of papers detailing his strange condition. Even as his eyes scanned the jumble of medical terms and official jargon, he felt strangely detached from reality. 

Zero had always known that the subject of his death was constantly hanging over his head, whether he would perish in his line of duty or fall mad to the destabilizing thirst that rampaged through him. And if he was lucky enough to survive all that, then he would expire as any other mortal being eventually would. 

But there was something quite tangible to the knowledge that he had exactly 1500 words left to live. 

He didn't quite remember the latter half of the visit, only that he had left the doctor's office with his medical papers in hand and a silver metallic counter that read four numbers in bold white ink.

1263.

\--- 

Carrying the counter around had become something of a routine. 

After hiding his papers, he had reassured Cross and Yuuki that there was nothing wrong with him while fingering the counter in his pocket and pressing it for every word that left his mouth. And when he met up with the pureblood for their regular check-ins, he used up a few more precious words letting Kuran know that he would not be able to do much speaking for a while. 

"Did you lose your voice?" Kuran looked mildly concerned. 

Zero looked outside the window, taking in the sight of the moon for the first time in a very long time. It was odd how he never noticed how vividly beautiful the world was until now. "Or something like that," he said at last.  _ Click. Click. Click. Click. _

He knew Kuran was confused, given how his voice had come out perfectly clear. But he shook his head before Kuran could say anything else. "Please."  _ Click. _ It was just one word, but maybe he had unintentionally let something slip into his tone because Kuran decided not to press the issue. 

1075.

\---

He knew that he had always been a quiet person, but he never realized the extent of his silence until he realized just how easy it was to carry on with his daily routine in spite of his condition. 

Feelings could be conveyed with a single look, intentions with the shift of his body language. Of course, it was only now that he had such limited words left in him that he could not stop thinking about what he wanted to say. 

He wanted to apologize to Yuuki for all the pain he had caused her and thank her for her unrelenting kindness and compassion. He wanted to tell Cross how grateful he was for the second home that he had selflessly been welcomed into. He wanted to let Kuran know that in spite of their teenage grievances, he had grown to respect the pureblood and treasured this blooming relationship between them. That he wanted, hoped it could maybe one day be something more. 

(But that wasn't possible anymore. Maybe it hadn't ever been possible, and this was the world's not-so-gentle reminder to him of that fact.) 

He wanted... 

He wanted more time. 

How ironic it was that he would spend so many years yearning for death only to resent the fact that death was crawling closer to him now. Death had always been an ephemeral concept, one that laid beyond his reach no matter how hard he struggled to get there. But now it was a tangible beast, prowling around him and waiting for the day it could finally pounce. 

"Kiryuu-kun?" 

"Zero," he said without thinking.  _ Click. _ "Just...Zero."  _ Click. Click. _

They both seemed surprised at his correction, but after a heart-stopping moment Kuran's startled expression eased into a smile and Zero found himself slowly mirroring the pureblood's expression. 

"Zero, then," and suddenly it was too much, having that brilliantly soft gaze leveled at him. "I'll have to ask you to do the same in return." 

His throat was dry. 

"Kaname." 

_ Click. _

That day, he was burned by the warmth in Kaname's eyes and the cold metal of the counter in his hand. 

912.

\-- 

It was unfair, he decided, that for the first time in his life things were going right yet he was dying. 

It was like some unspoken barrier had been broken, and now he constantly found himself in the pureblood's company. The time they spent together was unspeakably agonizing. The more he was around the pureblood, the more he realized the true depth of his yearning. 

He reached his breaking point when Kaname showed up at his doorstep with a bouquet of miniature roses and a hesitant smile on his face. He took the bundle of flowers from the pureblood, placing them in a glass vase and staring down at the small red blooms with a sinking realization.

This was more than just a gift. It was a commitment to something more. 

The roses that bloomed once every ten years. 

A promise. A vow. 

His chest felt tight with the implication of what Kaname had gifted him. Suddenly, the past few weeks were too much. He couldn't live like that anymore, constantly rationing each word as if there was a logical mathematical way to proceed with his life. 

That night, he let go with reckless abandon. His words were freely shared with Kaname instead of jealously hoarded. They talked into the early hours of the morning, shifting ever closer to each other until they were pressed against each other. And when Kaname finally fell asleep, he allowed himself to press a brief kiss to the pureblood's temple. 

"Kaname," he whispered, savoring the name as his mouth formed the dear syllables. "I love you, Kaname." 

_ Click. Click. Click. Click. Click. _

50.

\-- 

The charade could not go on forever, and the only feeling left in him was quiet resignation when he came home one day to the sight of Kaname holding his medical papers. 

"Were you ever going to tell me -- tell us?" the pureblood asked when the two of them had settled around the cramped kitchen table. The steam from their cups curled idly into the air, and Zero found his eyes tracing the wisps as they dissipated. 

"No."  _ Click. _

"It wasn't necessary."  _ Click. Click. Click. _

Kaname looked aggrieved. "Stop," the pureblood commanded, reaching out to place a warm palm on Zero's mouth. "Don't waste anymore words." 

Instead of responding, Zero took out the silver counter from his pocket and laid the metallic contraption on the table in between them. Kaname's fingers trembled when they made contact with the number inscribed on the counter. The pureblood looked up, his eyes anguished. 

"You have eleven words left?" 

"I'm sorry," he said simply. 

_ Click. Click. _

The argument, if one could even call it that, was brief and one-sided. He sat there silently as Kaname paced about, and he listened patiently through the disbelief and denial, the anger and despair. Kaname's ideas grew wilder and wilder as the pureblood tried to think of ways to delay the inevitable, but Zero knew better. His fate had been sealed the day he received his prognosis in the doctor's office.

Perhaps he should have been more upset than the pureblood -- it was his life they were talking about, after all. But instead, all he could feel was a morbid amusement at his own impending death and a regret that he could not assuage Kaname's pain. 

"Thank you," he wrapped his arms around the pureblood after Kaname had collapsed into his embrace. "For caring."  _ Click. Click. Click. Click. _

The pureblood buried his face into the crook of Zero's neck. 

"It's not fair." 

Zero stared straight ahead, watching the steam from their cups rise. 

No. No, it wasn't. 

5.

\-- 

"Don't say it," his pureblood was begging him, a painful expression on that beautiful face. "I can say it for the two of us, so don't." 

But he had already given it thought. He had unwittingly lost so many words since the doctor first gave him that fatalistic verdict that he didn't want to lose the rest of them to something inane. If he had to go, it would at least be on his own terms this time. 

Smiling, he gently cupped Kaname's face and pressed their lips together, his first and final kiss to the man he might have one day called lover if life had been kinder to him. 

"I love you, Kuran Kaname." 

0.

**Author's Note:**

> happy white day! sorry (not sorry) for the ending  
> there was this wonderful musicality to the short film, and i hoped i was able to capture some of that whimsy in this fic and do it justice c:
> 
> (in case it wasn't clear, the "clicks" in the story was zero pressing down the counter for every word he spoke)


End file.
